Not only is this new “Bade Miyan Chote Miyan” only noise and fury with no real meaning, but it is also the worst thing around.Numerous Bollywood films are competitive in that area. It’s because of this vacant “shor” and “sharaaba” that your eyelids are always dropping. This is a complete snoozefest, to put it simply.
this new “Bade Miyan Chote Miyan“
There is nonstop action in this movie! Bazookas and guns! Helicopters, tanks, and armies! And the action is carried out by Akshay and Tiger, the titular Bade and Chote, who have shown they are capable of clenching fistfights. Even the women, Manushi Chillar, Alaya F, and Sonaskshi Sinha, excitedly get into the set pieces, which are populated with masked villains and depict locations like the London Underground, rocky outposts of Afghanistan, and cold landscapes in the far north of India. However, nothing and nobody endures.
There’s the kernel of an idea somewhere in the length of this 2.44 hour long feature: of how AI can be used to clone a soldier and turn it into an invincible machine. But you have to dig deep into this mess to find it, covered as it is with gobbledygook surrounding a ‘Karan Kavach’ which can protect India from Pakistani and Chinese missiles. The only people with the guts to call the Chinese our foes directly are those in Bollywood.
Could it be that some AI app secretly overtook the writing, and made it into squeezable paste, with zero flavour? Otherwise how can you turn these two heroes– Firoz ‘Freddy’ (Akshay Kumar) and Rakesh ‘Rocky’ (Tiger Shroff) — into such dull clones of themselves? And Prithviraj Sukumaran, capable of so much, should sue someone for being made to strut about like a Darth Vader-type figure, in leather cape and mask, minus the sabre.
If only the film had fully embraced its cartoonish qualities, it may have become enjoyable. But it forces us to take it seriously while throwing about such dialogues as ‘aankhon se right swipe karogi kya’? Speaking of which, this is the kind of film where characters take time to spout full dialogues before shooting someone. Alaya F, as an IT whiz, whizzes about, saying ‘so dope’, and ‘sorry Uncle’ ; addressing Tiger ‘a hot GI Joe’, and Akshay as Uncle: a smarter film would have built these into real laughs.
But she also does have the best line in the film, when she gets to tells Tiger – ‘biceps ki jagah brains ka istemaal karo’. That lands. As does this one, which could be a good descriptor for the whole thing: ‘hamaara ego hamaare talent se bada hai’. This, good people, is an actual line in the film. They should have censored this unfortunate dialogue, not blurred the middle finger our Bade and Chote miyaans are fond of sticking. Nope, not kidding.
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